Rebound!

I feel lost again,
give me the strength to regain.

Clear this mist blocking my soul,
Let me shine bright and growl.

I want to rise like a phoenix,
As I believe I've been burnt to ashes by natures tricks.

There is always hope,
I will fight with better tactics leaving defeat, no scope.

With every small setback, I feel I know you better,
I will be victorious one day, your maya- I will shatter.

Our battle will go on till death,
Only that much time you get.

But this is not my battle alone dammit,
Its the eternal battle between Nature and spirit.

Learning from Colleagues at work

Today was a 2nd Technical meeting.

In these meetings people discuss various issues.
We get an overall picture of the work. Who assigns what ? who handles what ? etc.

Dedicated employees like Santosh, Rajesh, Jitesh and ofcourse Reddy sir - do a lot of work i.e through checking of reports - that is their work.

They know the big picture. They understand Visually ,they know the consequences, etc.. They worked and its inspiring to see them discuss various issues in these meetings.

Here is a summary of todays discussion :

TAM, Nozzles, supports, Loads, Insulation thickness, P&ID's, Valves, Weight of System, Flanges, Seismic Categories, FAC -Flow assisted corrosion, Sp gr of piping fluid, etc..

They worked as if it was some physics problem I used to work on in my intermediate.
Such interest and Enthusiasm is not in me. I am inspired and enthusiastic now after this meeting, but it fades away soon.

Ethically, I should be doing office work with such enthusiasm and then later do my personal work and maintain a fine balance in both the worlds.

Or should I quit ? Quit to serve other important purposes ?
No doubt this work can be made interesting as these people have developed interests in it.
But does it matter ? This detailed checking/reviewing of reports ?

Yes it helps prevent few accidents and mis-happenings, which could save lives.

What about the work I have passion to do ? But do I have the same passion as these guys ? Do I do the work with same enthusiasm ?
No.
I must learn and Remind myself of such enthusiasm that I once had in intermediate.

What I see is - Just another piping. Aah TAM values 1-4 mm what does it matter.
Piping will qualify. Also its not a critical piping.. Stresses are fine. Inputs look okay. etc..

They see it as - Tam 2 mm .. how ? Oh radial expansion.. Oo wat abt axial expansion?
Oh nozzle might fail.. Add all loads n check.. Oh its failing..
Whats this, this equipment is sliding. Oo here's an Orifice, its not a pipe, so consider it rigid, comment on it.

So they are interested in it ! I am not.
Interest can be developed in any field. And this is a skill certain people have.

Santosh cud have been sluggish on being transferred from an award winning job to Our department where people don't work on critcal award winning systems. But NO, He came to change our dept. He saw oppurtunities - called a group meeting to have regular discussions, interactions, study material sharing, etc.. . He interacts and works for collective development of all. He visualizes stuff, he simplifies complex structures as Simple spring mass systems in his mind and analyzes stuff, etc..

So what are the mistakes I am making ?

Firstly, I do not work well or I am disinterested as I have interests in other fields. WRONG. - Work well. With interest. In the working hours. And pursue other interests after working hours or after the work is done. Work should get first priority in Office, along with tremendous developed interest. With interest comes Understanding , Visualization, Satisfaction. Your brain stays young and active.

Secondly, I am dis-organized. I make notes in random places and forget them.
Rajesh and Santosh sir are exemplary organized persons. Maintaining a file always.
Dis-Organized living gives rise to laziness & stress and vice versa. LINKED!
Eliminate Both to end the CYCLE.

Thirdly, Patience. Work and work well. Do not get angry for not getting fruits. Do not be upset because of it. Do not care about it. Who can disturb you if you take joy in your work. Fruits are an added bonus and never basic neccessity.

I shall learn to become a better person. If I Quit, I shall not because of frustration from the work , but should quit because I am more interested in other work which is my passion.
Every work can be done in a better way. If everyone does it in such a way there would not be any problems in the world - Karma Yoga.

High Brain activity

Everyone wants to escape the routine to do what they wish.

But its a risk - You don't get paid. Society mocks you. You have to answer lot of people. etc

Send us details of what you wish to do ? How do you want to add value ?
We'll select 50 such people and run a startup reality show.

They'll build whatever they wish to. Some Online, some real projects.. These will be just like SUP chile Entrepreneur stuff.. with demo day, with presentations, pizza parties, etc..

These people will try to change the world. You see them how and why they do it. This gives wide publicity to their products on TV and boosts the change.

-----------

My arguments.

I don't accept defeat easily. I tend to go sometimes towards the extreme of my point and this is the weakness that gets exposed.

Truth is between these extremes and I shall argue for the truth.

I have analogies in my mind - these are design analogies. Branches, timelines, colurful explosions, Weighing Mechanism, pillar supported structures, etc to explain concepts.

(So here lies the solution. Choose the Model of Argument. Argue to prove a point or oppose by showing how the model collapses.) I think this is a great way to understand and explain things.

Ex: Fighting from a Weakest point. Say a bridge exists and its extremes have weak supports. If you fight and lose at extremes , it doesn't matter much , because the defeat doesn't prove that you are wrong, it could be the wobbly supports that threw you out of balance.

Etc etc analogies and models of arguements.

--------------------

Few basic things I need to fix:

Breathing.

Less talking and more meditating.
Less accusations/arguments and more work, any work, menial work.

More deep thinking along with reading.
More relaxed feeling in arguments.

--------------------

Don't get lost !

People get lost arguing . They go from one topic to another with so much ease but forget the central theme of the conversation.
You may argue this type of living is better than worrying abt the theme. Like artists, who have a flow, keep flowing and creating wonderful spectacular art..
But I am worried about people who get lost with less brain activity.

In a huge tree , artists get lost in the branches , among the flowers as they noursih the tree from the root (brain) .. Their tree is healthier and beautiful.
Some people get lost, among dried branches, finding an occasional leaf, that will eventually shed, searching for the next fruit while the thirsty root craves for nourishment.

There are people who are on whichever branch of the tree remember where the root is and give importance to it.

My mind is bustling with activity today. In the morning I had great visuals running in my mind for some amazing songs that I heard - sun raha hai na tu, etc..
The visuals were filled with power, faith in oneself and what he can do with it - I had the dragonBallZ type visual exuberating power and awe.

With the music of Rehman song running in my mind - the Arabic type one - Ree da ha - coke studio song.. I was charged up once again in the noon.
I was in great form while playing TT.. Hitting with confidence. I produced some amazing shots.

The energy of Bl3nd is me. that energy bubbling in my mind but controlled with a calm composure is the ideal. The yogi with immense power. With zero pride. With faith that everybody has it. With love for everyone.
Energy that does not subside.. constantly working .. complex thoughts.. designs.. manifesting the grandeur of nature in his own mind..
Such beautiful nature is in Me .. in all..

But why havent I felt this while I was on a routine of meditation.
I had fallen into the grove of comfortness.. Come out, realise the energy .
Tamas - Rajas -Sattvika.
Get the Rajas first - that Energy which says I'll drink the ocean, crumble the mountains.. Then counter with sattvika.. turn it into Bliss.

Lust

I had made a strong decision not to fall for lustful cravings, till the end of this year.. It has been close to 4 months now and I failed yesterday night & just few mins ago, again.

When I chat, I lie to get what I want, i kind of cheat by praising, I behave like a brute sometimes by behaving dominant. When its over, Im back to reality.. reality of honesty, logic and humanity.

We are forever bombarded with sexual content and thoughts from external world. It takes a lot of mental strength to fight it or just let them go without concern.. This war needs a "Peaceful Warrior"to fight it.

Observing my behavior under lust's influence, I am convinced that It is a major  cause for crimes, lies and violence.

It suppresses logic - No amount of logic can convince a brute. No logic works on a lustful person.

There are many people who strongly argue that -  when raped, its not the fault of the woman wearing revealing clothing. Very logical and true.
But its also true that there are many many weak minds and frustrated men on this planet, a little prod to their senses is enough to make them go crazy with lustful feelings and visuals in their minds.
Such people plan cunningly, they talk sweetly, if its not happening they use violence, they'll do heinous stuff under this hormone's influence. But they may not be such a cruel person in reality when they are normal.

The solution doesn't lie in roaming around naked and shouting Its not a woman's fault - Cuz logic's magic has little effect on this stuff. Not none, but little.
The planes of argument are different.
We need to find a solution on the emotional plane. Solution lies in recognizing/reanalyzing your behavior or understanding your emotions and others, after your down from the lust hormone rush.

Heres a good post about such a realization :
http://www.interactivetheatre.org/resc/jackm.html

Philosohpy of everything, Including you ! Part - 1

At some-point of time we have our primates.
Slowly there evolved humans.

Selfish, uncouth, epicureans/hedonists

The projection of these desires came in the form of protection (of what we had) , violence (to get what we want) and expansion (to get more and newer wants).

Wars were fought. Power was sought. Life had its ups and downs - happiness and sorrow.

The most selfish, powerful, violent and addicts were not always happy.
Why ? What is this happiness?

Here started self-inquiry of all feelings that we had known.

The innate feelings that were controlling a man , made use of his brain to satisfy the needs. These needs when satisfied made a man happy.

While the innate feelings used the brain to get things done in the external world, it unknowingly developed the brain. The brain which got vision inputs, sound inputs, taste inputs, etc was made to use this data to complete/satisfy the needs of innate feeling in the external world - These needs helped the man grow a good/healthy body, this also gave a  sense of accomplishment - Happiness.

Happiness seems like a reward to do more of such good tasks - good in the sense good for survival / body.

Man used his developing brain to fulfill his desires with lesser work, he discovered new stuff , used this discovery data to invent/create something to make fulfilling desires easier.
So, there came a time when fulfilling his innate feelings became easier. The reward - i.e happiness hormone seemed to have lesser effect.

His desires were not only linked to his ability but depended on external factors. A stronger competitor, on unwilling/angry mate, etc.. brought Sorrow/Sadness - as desires were not fulfilled. Sadness hormone, A punishment for the brain for not working hard/smart enough to get hold of the want/need.

Thus the innate feelings always forced the brain to get certain things for the man from the external world. In this process the brain evolved as much smarter, logical & sharper.

It became so advanced that one day, instead on focussing on external matter to get the material things, it turned around and asked - who is giving such feelings to do different things?

Societies were formed, Too much Violent and selfish behavior of some had hurt others and thus this trait was recognized to be harmful & people kept away from those kind of humans.
They applied this logic to themselves and concealed their selfish and violent behaviors so as to not drive away other people from them.

They killed their selfishness and shared food , to make friends as it had advantages - such as getting information that their brain had seen heard discovered, etc - this would give access to their friends, and sometimes friends share food too because they too have to think this way..

The brain had now mastered questioning and applying various concepts to itself (like in the above case.)  It mastered application of concepts to the self and viewing it from others perspectives.
So thus, when we see someone in pathetic condition, the brain which is ever performing many activities does also the activity of putting itself in another persons position.
Thus it feels sad, bad and pity.

Now the whole story turns around !
The story till now was that we evolved slowly. All brains developed slowly and understood various emotions, logics, etc..
This story has proof and facts to say it is correct. The proofs and facts are of-course from the physical world.

Now this brain turns the whole thing around with few profound logical questions !
What does it mean by "Brain Developed logic, emotion, etc.." ?
Lets say, to perform some action/to think of something : different chemicals fired in the brain, combined etc.. to form something, tested it in real world and if it worked , it devised a reward mechanism and established it as logic, intelligence etc..

Now who developed this advanced platform of performing experiments! creating reward mechanism, happy/sad punishment hormones!.. The underlying being - Much beneath the developing brain seems to be way more intelligent or smart than this brain that we have.

Is there a huge super intelligent brain at play here ? It seems like it.
But this intelligent system is within me too - as I become happy and sad etc..
So the system is functioning within me. Infact I am an intelligent system.

Either the systems intelligence is in me or it is being acted upon me by an external agent.
If its the external supreme cosmic intelligence - then I will pray to it, because it is the lord after-all controlling each and everything.
If its inside all the beings , then I need to find it, learn from it, become intelligent myself, become it.
Why is my consciousness not able to perceive it. In my consciousness why am I different or separate from that powe ?

To be cont....

Be a Servant.

Art is best when the artists serves the art rather than the other way around.

This general rule applies to many things besides art.

Lets rephrase the above sentence to Entrepreneurship:

A Start-up is best when the Entrepreneur serves the start-up rather than the other way round.

Don't use a good start-up idea to serve you -to make you rich, powerful, etc - This way you stay stagnant, day dreaming about where the idea/start-up will take you in future. Instead work for the idea, be its servant , do whatever it takes to set it up. Call people to help you, share the vision, ask help, collaborate without fear of loss of leadership . Collaborate to make the idea a success.
Collaborate to changing the system, making it better. Work together, work not as their leader but as their servant to see the idea take shape.

So, be a servant to the work - the work of making the thought a reality.
The least show of leadership destroys the work by rousing jealousy.

Take charge of the movement, not as a leader but as a servant. Accede to everyone. Work ! Slowly work your way up.

Illusive Obvious - All present successful leaders were made a leader by the people, they had little aspiration to become one from the beginning.

When I was small, I played a lot of cricket in the colony.
I was a good player. I used to bat well and I was famous for my spin bowling. I used to experiment a lot with spins - at home with dad and at almost every bowling opportunity.
My experiments stated with as silly as "Thumb spin" - When I used to hold the ball between my thumb and rest of the fingers and tried to spin the ball using thumb motion. It was a complete disaster.

It was only a beginning and has led to one of my proud innovative spin in cricket ;) called "Reverse Spin". I would like to patent it in cricket :P
Its true that there are reverse spins/chops/back spins in other games but never in cricket.

One day I thought, why spin the ball only side ways. Lets try forwards or backwards. Forwards was easy but backwards required some practice and skill. I did it and got many many batsmen out.

The back spin, slows down the ball after it pitches. So batsmen tend to hit it expecting it to be faster, so they either completely miss it and be bowled by it or if they make contact they will have hit the ball a lot later in their swing of bat and thus the ball would rise high and go for a catch dismissal.

Oh Boy I have digressed a lot.
So coming to my cricket days.
I used to be made captain though I had no strong desired to be one. And I noticed that players liked my captaincy.
I used to play for the team as I felt being a captain meant it was a bigger responsibility,  each player wanted things his way and it was my duty to keep them happy.
SO I had to sometimes drop my batting order since everyone liked to bat first.

In team selection I sometimes had to choose people with bad skills first, since they were my friends and wanted to be in my team. Infact I took it as a challenge to win with a weaker team.

I gave equal chances . I made moral decisions. I tried to play my best.

Thats all - No selfishness, no politics, no favoritism.

So the people - the ones who are ultimately led by the leader, choose for themselves a leader among them. And that leader is the one with no desire for power.

Have you asked these questions ?

Read the below lines :
"We have desire for nothing that doesnt exist.
The object of Perception existed first, before you made the organ. Light and sound existed before and later you made the organs - eyes and ears. In a few hundred thousand years or earlier we may have other organs to percieve electricty and other things." Wrote Vivekananda in one of his articles.

What a way of thinking. How did he get here ?
It is only by deep inspection of ones desires.

A brute is driven by desires. It doesnt question the desire, from where it came, how it came , etc ?
A little intelligent man will study these desires in humans, brutes, insects,etc.. and say its natures law. For continuous life cycle.

Another man can question natures law itself. What is this law ? Who created it ? What is this power that tries to manipulate/control me.
Who has fed data into genes that I should be attracted to so and so things, that I could grow this tall , I could lose hair, etc..

But it has also given me power to question. It is not so dominating or authoritative, it is also generous and helping.

A man came and asked why you have given me eyes, ears, nose..
The intellect, the power given by nature and thus natures own, answers..
"Cause light exists, sound exists, I needed you to percieve it."

Many many things exist that I still cannot percieve what about those ?
Struggle and find out for yourself. There are cheaper ways too for the weak, (they take drugs, percieve these things. But as you know there's no shortcut. If theres any way to Heaven, its through Hell. Struggle is the benefit of life!) these ppl serve as proof of existence of what you seek, so now you know its worth struggling, what are you waiting for ?

Who are you? Mr Nature / God or what ever ?
And who has asked this question ? Is it not the power given by you, the intellect that has raised this question ?
So now your power questions you as it does not know you.
"Exactly my point" You dont know who you are. My power, my force, my energy, my creation don't know me.

I know that vedas say that all this power is within us. By this self-interrogation I hope to arrive at this but I do not know how it will proceed.

So nature/something is causing evolution and creating bodies/organs such as brain to percieve some parts of the existence. All animals percieve in different ways and act accordingly.
Now, intellect questions! Its a new faculty! in Humans.

What about love ? Animals understand love. We love parents, spouses, children and animals in different ways. What is this ? even animals are capable of loving , but not capable of reasoning and acting.

who is designing higher n lower species, who is granting these capabilities or powers.
As we discussed earlier , it is not so bad, as I feel im portraying a -ve villanous character of this "it". Its giving us powers.. Or infact i could say it is entering us slowly and slowly. It is becoming us.

Now my thought has been that this intelligence exists externally and is doing/controlling things from outside or Entering into us from outside.So it exists in me and also externally.

Lets go more external. Zoom out and see earth + sun.
The intelligence on earth used light energy to create forms.
The intelligence exists beyond earth too.
It wants this life to survive so it bound the the earth and sun. Infact Mr. "it"is fair, equal and moral intelligence. It couldnt just bound earth and sun
, it had to design something - Gavity.
To keep the energy coming, it has to design something.. some reactions!
The power of intellect in man sought everywhere for answers and found them.. he found answers. Nothing is magic. Suns heat reactions, gravity, planets, water, etc all Explained to him by his intellect.

The more man focussed , concentrated and put his energy into streamlined thoughts, determined not to give up, he found more and more answers.
Man could stretch his intellect, the power, he could gain more of it.
He understands how things work, how desire works , why lust was designed,etc..

He still doesnt understand who is doing all this ? Why ? and what will happen to his developed powers?
Who gave you the power to stretch your intelligence, reasoning. Who gave you the power to decide.
Its me.
What is me? I cry out and say I.. what am I.. I means I..I cannot explain..

I make my fingers move to type this. I decide. I struggle to gain more power. I get what I want - the knowledge that satisfies my intellectual thirst - I get what I want, I struggle I focus - I get the movement in body that I want - I concentrate and determine - I master an art - I struggle I work for mindlesness and I achieve flow - Work with some unknown guiding energy.
I can draw any power from universe.
Its my reservoir, its my treasure box.
What happens if i open and take all of the powers. I am then the creator ,
the designer and the all existing energy. The motion of the snail, the growth of the plant to the intellect and determination to the love , its all me . Thus I will be in all and everything.

It was just now a treasure box and now I am the treasure box ?
We decided that we will assume that all powers are external to us and it enters us to become a part of us. So when it completely enters us and becomes me. Then I am it.

And maybe this is why the vedas say that all power is within us and we need to manifest it to know the truth and divinity within us.

Karma Yoga - Flow - Mushin

Compiled articles on the same concept explained by different people in different ways :
The following article on "Work without motive" by Vivekananda was very thought provoking , logical and powerful.

(1) ---- The article that trigerred further probing:

Now, what is the meaning of working without motive? Nowadays many understand it in the sense that one is to work in such a way that neither pleasure nor pain touches his mind. If this be its real meaning, then the animals might be said to work without motive. Some animals devour their own offspring, and they do not feel any pangs at all in doing so. Robbers ruin other people by robbing them of their possessions; but if they feel quite callous to pleasure or pain, then they also would be working without motive. If the meaning of it be such, then one who has a stony heart, the worst of criminals, might be considered to be working without motive. The walls have no feelings of pleasure or pain, neither has a stone, and it cannot be said that they are working without motive. In the above sense the doctrine is a potent instrument in the hands of the wicked. They would go on doing wicked deeds, and would pronounce themselves as working without a motive. If such be the significance of working without a motive, then a fearful doctrine has been put forth by the preaching of the Gita. Certainly this is not the meaning. Furthermore, if we look into the lives of those who were connected with the preaching of the Gita, we should find them living quite a different life. Arjuna killed Bhishma and Drona in battle, but withal, he sacrificed all his self-interest and desires and his lower self millions of times.

Gita teaches Karma-Yoga. We should work through Yoga (concentration). In such concentration in action (Karma-Yoga), there is no consciousness of the lower ego present. The consciousness that I am doing this and that is never present when one works through Yoga. The Western people do not understand this. (Now they do, they call it Flow) They say that if there be no consciousness of ego, if this ego is gone, how then can a man work? But when one works with concentration, losing all consciousness of oneself the work that is done will be infinitely better, and this every one may have experienced in his own life. We perform many works subconsciously, such as the digestion of food etc., many others consciously, and others again by becoming immersed in Samâdhi as it were, when there is no consciousness of the smaller ego. If the painter, losing the consciousness of his ego, becomes completely immersed in his painting, he will be able to produce masterpieces. The good cook concentrates his whole self on the food-material he handles; he loses all other consciousness for the time being. But they are only able to do perfectly a single work in this way, to which they are habituated. The Gita teaches that all works should be done thus. He who is one with the Lord through Yoga performs all his works by becoming immersed in concentration, and does not seek any personal benefit. Such a performance of work brings only good to the world, no evil can come out of it. Those who work thus never do anything for themselves.

The result of every work is mixed with good and evil. There is no good work that has not a touch of evil in it. Like smoke round the fire, some evil always clings to work. We should engage in such works as bring the largest amount of good and the smallest measure of evil. Arjuna killed Bhishma and Drona; if this had not been done Duryodhana could not have been conquered, the force of evil would have triumphed over the force of good, and thus a great calamity would have fallen on the country. The government of the country would have been usurped by a body of proud unrighteous kings, to the great misfortune of the people. Similarly, Shri Krishna killed Kamsa, Jarâsandha, and others who were tyrants, but not a single one of his deeds was done for himself. Every one of them was for the good of others. We are reading the Gita by candle-light, but numbers of insects are being burnt to death. Thus it is seen that some evil clings to work. Those who work without any consciousness of their lower ego are not affected with evil, for they work for the good of the world. To work without motive, to work unattached, brings the highest bliss and freedom. This secret of Karma-Yoga is taught by the Lord Shri Krishna in the Gita.

(2)------- I had heard of flow before , I asked Google and here's what I have :
Research has shown that performers in a flow state have a heightened quality of performance as opposed to when they are not in a flow state. In a study performed with professional classical pianists who played piano pieces several times to induce a flow state, a significant relationship was found between the flow state of the pianist and the pianist’s heart rate, blood pressure, and major facial muscles. As the pianist entered the flow state, heart rate and blood pressure decreased and the major facial muscles relaxed. This study further emphasized that flow is a state of effortless attention. In spite of the effortless attention and overall relaxation of the body, the performance of the pianist during the flow state improved.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi[2] describes people who are internally driven, and as such may exhibit a sense of purpose and curiosity, as autotelic. This determination is an exclusive difference from being externally driven, where things such as comfort, money, power, or fame are the motivating force.

"An autotelic person needs few material possessions and little entertainment, comfort, power, or fame because so much of what he or she does is already rewarding. Because such persons experience flow in work, in family life, when interacting with people, when eating, even when alone with nothing to do, they are less dependent on the external rewards that keep others motivated to go on with a life composed of routines. They are more autonomous and independent because they cannot be as easily manipulated with threats or rewards from the outside. At the same time, they are more involved with everything around them because they are fully immersed in the current of life."

Csikszentmihalyi says  If the task is too easy or too difficult, flow cannot occur. Both skill level and challenge level must be matched and high; if skill and challenge are low and matched, then apathy results.

(3)------ One thing leads to another..

Mushin (無心; Japanese mushin; English translation "no mind") is a mental state into which very highly trained martial artists are said to enter during combat.[citation needed] They also practice this mental state during everyday activities. The term is shortened from mushin no shin (無心の心), a Zen expression meaning the mind without mind and is also referred to as the state of "no-mindness". That is, a mind not fixed or occupied by thought or emotion and thus open to everything. For the origin of the mushin concept, see Muga-mushin. It is somewhat analogous to flow experienced by artists deeply in a creative process.
Some masters believe that mushin is the state where a person finally understands the uselessness of techniques and becomes truly free to move. In fact, that person will no longer even consider themselves as "fighters" but merely living beings moving through space.
Ex: Bruce Lee - Jeet Kune Do

---- (End of Research, Now starts internal search)

Universe and Open Startups

Today I thought of writing about one of the following:

1) "Where are we ? " Asked the Peaceful warrior, "Where is the universe?" and concluded by saying "I dont know . Life is a Mystery. My Ignorance is based on this Understanding and your Understanding is based on ignorance."

So from here my thought process went, what if tomorrow our distance and spread out satellite detects a huge body/asteroid/planet, etc.. which based on certain calculations is headed to collide with Earth ? What if you were told it would hit in 10 yrs from now and its so big that we cannot break it or change its trajectory ?
Would you still be doing the same thing as you are doing now ?
Hmm. Think about it and your answer to it. Hmm now I'm in 20's , its realistic assumption that I might be gone in another 60 years. Death is going to come, still I would like to be living the same life ?
I did not know exactly where my thinking was heading. :P

Another thing: (2)

Open Startups

 

A good link here: http://seanblanchfield.com/index.php/2011/12/the-startup-cooperative/

Startup founders are selfish ?
They want their idea to be a huge success and then want to enjoy the rewards, fame, power and money.

How about a Open Startup ? I cut off my selfish ties from the idea. I stop working on it in secrecy. I put it out in the open and simultaneously work on it. Invite interested people to join in and do whatever aspect they want to work on. We build the system. The system adds value to people. People utulize it and pay us.

Everyone clings to their ideas as if they were treasures. Everyone is working on something or the other. Some live in fantasy world, mssing some key reality checks , which could ruin their idea.
Some ideas im attracted to and some just don't interest me - doesnt mean they aren't great - its just not my cup of green tea ! ;)

So proposing - Unselfish idea implementation.
An idea , which makes your heat beat faster, which you instantly recognize to be revolutionary, Which you think about for days and few nights pass by due to the restlessness it brings along, etc etc..
Now, don't say "Its Mine" like a kiddo. Thank the superpower for presenting you the idea.
Also, now its your duty to implement the idea for the power it has and the good that it can do. It has to see the light of the day and its your responsibility.

So removing qualities such as selfishness , desire for fame, name and money from a founder, what do we have? A person whose sole aim is to make the idea a reality by any means,  because he realizes the impact the idea can have on the society and nothing else matters to him.
He seeds the idea into different minds, spreads it. Even if stolen , he doesnt feel sad, because his was only to see it succeed not to reap the fruits of success. For him there is no need for Money, fame or Power. Slaves need power to make more slaves!
He is a true Monk + Entrepreneur = The Monkepreneur!

What does he achieve by realizing his ideas ? He forces his will upon External Nature. The Nature yields.
He forces his will upon his internal nature, it too yields, revealing secrets. He works both ways realizing the truth, the love and divinity within him.

Think and Be !

How much Batista can I be when taking cold showers, when going through physical torture?

How much Sherlock Holmes can I be when analyzing things, people and situations around me?

How much Vivekananda can I be when I have to have unflinching discipline?

How much Bruce Lee can I be to concentrate and move my energies?

Each one of the above has powerful images - Batista - the animal of WWE is the symbol of wild energy and capable of taking a hard beating - He asks how harder can you get  ? Thats all you got ?

Sherlock Holmes - the fast ever aware calculating and clever mind. He lives in the present, see's every fine detail that is easily missed by an ordinary eye. Sets the high standard for level of awareness / conciousness of the present.

Vivekananda - purity, strength , knowledge , discipline. He is one fine personality with tremondous will power and unflinching discipline.

Bruce Lee - The peaceful warrior. Symbolizes for me, Hard work, concentration and control over body and thus the mind. Quick powerful movements, Mastery over martial arts. I can feel the Grit when he talks . "Be like water my friend" he says.

So.. Ask again and again..
 How much Batist can I be?
How much Holmes can I be?
How much Vivekananda can I be?
How much Lee can I be ?

Ask these in every situation , feel their energies and be them in those situations.

Swami Vivekananda's command over English

How must have Vivekananda mastered English ?
Every interviewer of his time said his command over English can only be described as Perfect!
His writings are rich in vocabulary. He uses apt words. Words describe ideas. Few ex in an article i read today: Sophistry, vindication, dogs in the manger, weal, coterie, etc..

How did he learn all this ? Writing is one thing. How did he master spoken english ?
I can Imagine this:
Vivekananda has read many books. He must have had a dictionary. With his great concentration power and memory, these beautiful words, which describe certain ideas perfectly , stuck in his mind or memory.

He must've practiced speaking what he had written ?
When I write I think freely, But when I speak, there are many distractions, but still he mananges to get hold of tough words.

I just went through an Old blog post that I had written when I was preparing for my GRE. I saw usage of new words in my post. They were well used and conveyed exact meaning.
I remember how I read during the GRE days - I liked reading words because they conveyed ideas, wisdom, thoughts.. People have coined terms to represent an Idea, a characterisitc, etc.. so these tell us about the
existence of various things in the world. A new word is your introduction to a new phenomenon i.e most people observed "that" in the world , maybe even u know of the word's meaning and identify it with ur life
experience, but you didnt bother to label it.

Vivekananda did extensive work reading books, collecting ideas, reading sanskrit books - he knows the power of words and the ideas they represent in sanskrit. Maybe he tried to find words in english with which he could describe the powerful words of sanskrit.

Vedas are condensed form of wisdom. Containeing wise ideas , contains information about how not to delude oneself, how to be beware of wrong things, etc..
It teaches discrimination, fine and finer discrimination which needs subtle words to describe it. Thus vivekanandas vocab is full of powerful words for good things and equally powerful words for the bad
things and can convey complicated meanings.

Coming to spoken English. It needs practice. I'm sure he was a confident english speaker in school and had his grammar in place. His basics were strong.
My basics are good too, but my confidence is lower. I cant seem to frame proper sentences while speaking, they are either incomplete or do not exactly convey what I want to say to my satisfaction.
I need practice of my own written work. I need to build more concentration and confidence and mostly work relentlessly to achieve the level of excellence Vivekananda achieved in English in those days, even without Internet.

First Step : Hack Nature !

Say all this is hokum bunkum.. all the philosophy , vedanta, etc..
THen ?
What do you think you will do ?

I want to be happy like anyone else. But the condition of my hair ,face,etc affect me. I was born with these, So I had no say in this matter.

I want healthy life, I dont need eye sight problems, digestion issues, hand problems, etc..
I find lust as an evanascent desire, the joy fades out and there's disoderlyness in the body with a feeling of loss of energy.

So, My body craves for lust , so as to procreate. My confidence or happiness depends on my body - how it looks , how healthy it is. But this body is not mine, I have no control over it.

So Whatever blows nature gives me I should take it ?
Cancer, urinary incontinence, obesity, etc..
Maybe I'll be responsible for some diseases, but in general, Nature seems to be controlling my happiness.

My environment around me controlls who I meet. If im surrounded by women , I would have girl friends. If I was born in Kasab's place I dont know what I would have done.

I wont care about looks and hair. then ? Other ppl will call u names and think bad of you.
I wont care wat others think , then ?
Hmm.. But you have strong lustful desire, so for that reason , you will try things to affect others minds and get what you need.
So, Lust is a desire created by Nature-You! I will reject it too. THis Machine- My body , shall be my slave and then I will be happy forever.

Hmm.. But the machine cannot survive without food and water. What about these desires ? Give them up you fool !
I have read about a yogi who lived without food and water, I bet hard work determination and will can achieve that too.

I am not the body, the body is nature. Am I logic ?
Logic is a part of brain, If it gets damaged its gone, Memory is the same too.
SOme part of me is using logic , emotion etc of this brain to think about itself.
I have emotions, logic - Intellect. Everyone has these. And these are modified by education, enviroment.
So these are different according to different experiences of people.
So Whatever Im typing is just because of my life experience and using logic,emotion, etc intellect.
But ingeneral some people are more emotional, sensitive ,etc..
These are inborn. Nature decided my feelings ?

If i think about breath, I can make my body breathe well. But soon I forget that I decided to breath deeply all day long. But who made the decision to breath deeply - Logic and memory of some article I read!
Ok I had logic and I remembered. But what made me breath deeper?
My decision. Here I am. In Decisions.

I can decide to stop my breath for some time. Nature only gives some time for this, but with practice it allows me to extend this time.
Nature doesnt allow me to control blood flow to various parts - But has shown me that blood can be directed to different parts by powerful thoughts with the example of lust. SO with more practice, I can direct blood suitably by will.
In lust, I notice, originality and flow of the idea is powerful.
So with other actions I wish to achieve, Powerful thoughts and originiality must be there. This needs control of mind, Directing thoughts in a particular way - A way it has not gone much/at all. A path less travelled. Difficult but yields results with patience.

So I, the decision maker can manipulate my body's blood preference.
So Im taking decisions to control what nature has given me - My body and Mind.
Controlling the body and Mind so that I am not at like a machine or at mercy of nature. So what do I want to be like.

I want to fight nature and conquer it ? As in nothing that you offer or take from me is going to change anything or any feeling in me.
So, before, I used to feel a change, Happiness or sadness due to nature's acts. So I was dependant on nature. WHy do i say I? Happiness and Sadness are feelings. So I am a feeling too ?

Hmm If I feel lustful my body reacts in one way. If i feel happy its reacts another way, etc.. So I choose a feeling ? Or I am the feeling?

Maybe Feelings are intially not under my control. I become happy/sad/lustful , as nature (genes, surroundings,etc..) has programmed me. As I take control , I can decide to feel what I want. I wish to take the control from Nature.
So I am the decision maker once again. SO feelings are my decisions.
So If I master this and Decide upon some feeling, What about the outcome?

Say in case of lust, I feel about something, but my bodys reaction was something nature has designed. Actually the whole system of lust was designed by nature - including the feeling part.
So different feelings manifest different outcomes in body. The wisdom says, empowering feelings of determination, will and Goodness are strength and others are weakness.

So say, I decide strongly (what does strongly mean - I become the Master of my mind) to culitvate good feelings, then they manifest in the form of good body, words and actions , powerful figure.
But this is just a manipulation of natures programming for my benefit. Hacking it is! SO,be it. Its not easy and its the first step to mastery over nature!
Then later, WHAT?

.. to be cont..

Quit !

Some jobs are meant for you to figure your life out , quit the job and start the journey, I said, giving examples of watchman, security guards, agents, etc.. and said this engineering job is no different from those.

This obviously hurt the ego of the person staying in the engg job for years. He said quickly unable to control “Then quit the job, why r u here”, I said “I will, when the time is right”

If I am not doing my job, he smilingly said, I’m not patriotic. This is the kind of statements ppl use to justify what they do. I said this job can be done by anyone, it doesn’t require Nikhil Kulkarni, who is more than this. It doesn’t require a great deal of mind. Infact these are the kinds of job people should use to rediscover themselves, not settle, cuz everyone is more than what these jobs require you to do. Then leave the job, he says. Yes I will I say.

But till when will I keep telling I will quit?

Childhood poor friend

Few things on my mind.

·         I don’t have any materialistic desires. I don’t need a great car, I don’t want a new bike, I don’t want an expensive watch. Whats wrong with me? Or is it too good. Am I deep into solving my personal problems? Sometimes. And these are the times I’m heavily stressed and can’t enjoy the present moment.

Is it always important to rhyme?

I ask myself;

how can someone ask himself?

are there multiple souls inside;

But what is soul?

it’s just a house of beliefs;

were we born with those beliefs?

whom am i asking now,

wow.. who is it thats inside me,

·          

I’m so stuck up with my problems. Remember Anjaiah?

U let him lead his bad life... didn’t help even a little. He came to my house repeatedly, just to talk or maybe expecting something. Each time I just spoke a little and sent him away.

What more help could I do?

I saw a clerk opening being posted on Npcil site. Its for SC. Why not inform him i thought. Did i help atleast one guy in life ? Maybe if he had known little English and passed 10^th I could have helped him.

Anjaiah is one such example. He was a close friend, I had played with him, he taught me many things. He used to sit in the corner in our hall and watch tv. I can never forget the small car his brother made with just an aluminium wire. Those were their glorious days, mine too i guess. There father was our watchman. Later he left our apartments, and joined somewhere else. But his children kept coming to meet us. Later his father left all. They depended on their mother’s n brother’s income.

I remember visiting their house. Small and smells something, can’t say bad but not good too, definitely food, old food. All was under one roof, kitchen ,hall , bedroom. Anjaiah liked music. Like almost every telugu guy, he was a pavan kalyan fan. He had a tape recorder. And many many cassettes. He used to buy latest film songs of his hero’s new films. But i was wondering why he was wasting money on cassettes? And i said u could find them on internet for free , come home one day I record all n give u.

Infront of his house, rather a small room, there was a huge farm. I thought it was their’s, but now I know, its not, they wouldn’t be so poor if it were. Green farm. He caught dragon flies, showed me a variety of dragon flies – the fat helicopter types to the sleek anorexic types (they looked just like a small twig with wings)

He has some health problem too.. Its like he gets hiccups every 2-5 mins. There’s some kind of jerk in his whole body. Why didn’t i ever google what it was? Why ? He has teeth stained with brown colour.